Grin and Bear It

Seven Months on, I have been slogging my guts out at my new workplace ( The workplace looks new, but I look as old as if I have spent an entire lifetime over there). As a penance, I will have to continue working here for perhaps more than double the months I have already spent here. What a snail-like journey it had been and now I m narrating and recounting my experience ( more of a plight which is ) over here, venting my ire and disgust in vain.

Why oh why ( I ask myself this Q every single day) did i come so close tasting the pie and never tasted it?

I have become very insensitive, indifferent and impassive to the financial miseries of the people who rush into my office. I wear a blank face all the time so as to let my disillusionment and disappointment come through.

To be blunt, I have sunk into depression. So much so that it has become so unfeasible to be rescued unlike the toddlers who fell into the open pits and got much media coverage and were finally rescued.

I feel I have united with the gloomiest and darkest edge the world has ever seen and from this instant forth, things will only brighten and gleam for me. Nothing more worse can possibly happen to me and nothing and I mean nothing under the sun can bog me down now..

But that's what I feel.

Much Ado About Nothing

And there I m. Listless, Broken, Battered and Languid.

Two years of intensive preparation for CAT, and I m still at home writing about the events and developments that took place in the gone by year. Alas! It's finally over, though on an unsuccessful note.



I learned it the hard way. " One must be realistic about his aims and goals and shouldn't be too optimistic regarding future". Sounds cliched but means a lot to me, especially now.

Now when I look back, I realise how insane I was in being so dogmatic and hell-bent about the things I wanted from my life for my life. Meticulous Planning not accompanied with precise execution is bound to produce undesirable results. It's very disheartening and lugubrious when months of labour, toil, pain and efforts go in drain like this.



Although this incident gave me reasons to cheer in ways more than one. I am far more intellectual now than I was 2 years back, logical, thoughtful and wary of my next moves.
"You lose some, you win some"



One thing that I m always going to grumble about is the fact that what I lost was very tangible and could be produced and shown in physical form ( my test scorecards) and what i won is not visible through the naked eye( my acuity, my keeness of perception).

There were many boulders that pounded me hard throughtout the entire journey, or Shall I call it an ordeal which came to an end. I was turned into a punching-bag by formidable adversaries like CAT, NMAT XAT that showed no mercy to me and knocked me down yet again.

It's an end of a chapter and a beginning of another one, A new lease of life, A fresh ray of hope. A lot is riding on me now, hopes, trust, confidence. With great resolve I claim I won't crumble and give in to the pressure this time. No matter how burdensome the burden is, I won't give in to it.